Tonya, Tammy, John and I had gotten tickets to see a few bands in a town a few hours away. We often did things like this, go on adventures out or in town. Most the time it was the 4 of us, occassionally it was a larger group of 6-8. Sometimes people were slightly interchangable; but most of our adventures included the 4 of us.
It’d been this way for almost 2 years now. It started with Tammy and John dating. Each of us were friends with at least 1 of them, and when they started dating, the group of us all became closer. It wasn’t ever weird with the four of them; didn’t ever feel like a 3rd wheel or even a double date. We just all enjoyed hanging out together. It kinda became a thing.
Silly me, developed feelings for Tonya. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that most of the time it was the 4 of us. Sure, John and Tammy, didn’t rub their relationship in our faces while we were all out. But I started to notice the little things between them; the brush of their hands while we were walking down the street, not quite hand-holding, but not just an accidental touch. The quick I love you kisses, when they thought no one was looking; the silent glances of admiration when the other’s laugh reached their eyes. All that definitely helped make me long for someone I could share those things with as well.
What is it they say about out of sight, out of mind? I think the opposite is also true. When you spend enough time with someone, you start to develop feelings for them. Sure, there has to be something there, some sorta spark to begin with, I don’t think it can just happen with anyone; but with that spark and then time. It’s almost a natural progression for feelings to form. Isn’t that a thing?
At some point in the last few months, I’ve started to have feelings, romantic feelings for Tonya. Sure when we were together, we were flirty, and even sometimes our random texting conversations were on the edge of inappropriate flirty. I never could really tell if Tonya did have feelings for me too, or if this was just all fun. I wanted to just ask; but, I was scared. I didn’t want to disrupt the dynamic if she didn’t feel the same.
I had this feeling that this weekend, the time was right. We had gotten two hotel rooms, because it was an anniversary of some length for John and Tammy, so they wanted to get their own room. Originally, there was going to be two more friends coming with us, Kyle & Matt; but they backed out. Even still, it didn’t seem awkward, but more of perfect timing for me, that Tonya and I would be sharing a room. Sure we’d slept in the same bed, tons of time. Plus expecting 2 more, I had gotten a room with 2 beds, and probably a couch.
We had quite the adventure on the way out of town. Flat tire 30 minutes in; then 15 mins back on the road and we get stuck behind an accident. Waze had us get off to avoid it, which took us through a quaint little town that the girls had to get out and take pictures at. Finally, we arrived and checked in, and they didn’t have my reservation, and were all out of rooms. I could see the disappointment in Tammy’s face, thinking she would have to share her room with us as well; it was the polite and generous thing to do. Then, the hotel attendant declared the presidential suite was empty, and since it was their mistake; I had the confirmation email; she would put us in it for the same price i requested. Score 1 for me!!!
After a quick refresh, we all met for drinks and dinner before the concert. All night, Tonya was bitching to Tammy about how much she likes Kyle and she was disappointed that he didn’t make this trip. It was kinda weird at first, hearing her talk about him; then it was just annoying that she didn’t involve me or John in her conversation. A few times we tried to change the subject, but she just didn’t seem to care. It was definitely annoying.
Besides being heartbroken by both the fact that Tonya was into Kyle, and not me; and that she was the kind of person to not care if she was ruining other people’s night by her trivial drammatic outbursts; the concert was great. By the time we had actually gotten to the concert, Tonya seemed to have said all she needed to about Kyle and was ready to actually have fun. John and I let them do their girl thing for a bit, the Tammy wanted to dance to the songs and have fun with John; so it was back to a group thing. Thank God for Tammy to then still including me as part of the group, like normal. She even did tell me at some point, she saw my disappointment and felt bad for how this played out. ‘Good news’ she said ‘at least you found out before you made a fool or yourself; or worse, something happened in that presidential suite of yours’. I laughed at that. Leave it to Tammy to always find the brightside in the situation.
The concert ended, we had a nightcap at the hotel bar. I had a feeling that Tonya was a little drunk, hell, I think we all were by this time. She wanted to keep drinking, Tammy & John were ready to call it a night; and Tonya told them to go-on; I’d stay and drink with her still. As soon as they left, Tonya upped her flirting game with me. It was fun and all, but I was guarded; having been disappointed by her. After the bar essentially kicked us out, and we headed to the Presidential Suite. The bed was large enough, we could both sleep in it, but I kinda wanted to play it coy for a while. There was a pull-out bed too.
On the elevator, she leaned in and kissed me. Like really tried to kiss me. I played coy, as the door opened to our floor and we got out. She grabbed my hand, and we walked down the hall that way. Once in the room, she tried again to come in for a kiss. This time, I let her know “No. I spent hours listening to you talk about how much you were in love with Kyle , and wish he was here instead of me. I’m not going to fucking touch you tonight. In fact, I can call the maid to set up the pull-out couch for you if you’d like. Save you the trouble of making it up yourself.”
The look on her face was priceless. I almost didn’t get past 10 seconds without busting out in laughter. Sure, after I cracked up, I told her she could sleep on the couch; but she could also sleep in the bed with me. It was big enough, and we’d done it before with no issues.
